Since the passing of my Grandpa, I’ve been having a difficult time coping with all of my emotions. The natural guilt, fear, and utter sadness is clouding my brain. My windows of creativity are shut for the time being and NaBloPoMo is a good way to keep me writing and my mind off of things. Really, I think what upsets me the most is knowing such important elements of my childhood are now gone. Welcome to adulthood I suppose.
February is a touchy month for a lot of people. There seems to be a love/hate relationship with the idea of Valentine’s Day and what it means for you whether you’re married, in a relationship, or single. While I don’t want to commit to writing everyday, I think I will combine weeks together and touch on all subjects. Some may need more attention than others as I get more opinionated on certain things, but I personally love February and the love that is encompassed in this month. I’ll get more into that over the next few weeks.
I need a little bit of extra love in my life right now so I’d like to start prematurely here and go through February 1st-8th.
Friday, February 1, 2013 When was the last time you said, “I love you.”?
I was never one to be touchy-feely or show much emotion. I wasn’t really raised that way. I think I’ve mentioned before that my family shows love for each other through sarcastic remarks. But since dating Tony, I have become more loving, truly expressing to people how much I care about them. I give more hugs, I tear up more, and I certainly use the “L word” to its fullest potential. Like adding it on to every time I say good-bye to my parents. I cherish this new side of me, and it makes me feel more loved in return.
Monday, February 4, 2013 Tell us about your first crush.
My first crush probably dates back to my days at daycare. I had a huge crush on a boy who was my age that was babysat by the same wonderful woman. We did what any normal 5 year olds did when they had a crush on each other – we played house and ‘slept’ in a bed together. Who didn’t have that experience? Let’s be honest here.
I had many crushes throughout my life, boys at school, boys in my neighborhood. When those crushes become more than silly daydreams is when things got really interesting!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013 How old were you the first time you fell in love?
I had boyfriends come and go through my teenage years. I thought I loved some of them, but it wasn’t until I actually fell in love that I realized the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
The first time I fell in love I was 17. I met a boy whom I had zero interest in. He had some mutual friends and ended up at a house party I was having (I was notorious for having house parties, my parents went on a lot of trips and trusted me a wee bit too much). I was told he liked me and I loved the attention. I got to know him over the course of a few months and ended up really liking him. We were together for just over 3 and a half years. I learned a lot in that relationship, and I mean A LOT! It was so childish at times, yet made me into the adult I am today. I figured out what I wanted and what I definitely didn’t want.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013 Do you remain friends with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends after you break up?
Great question. I’m on the fence with this one. I believe that in order to get over a past relationship, you have to completely cut ties for a period of time. It’s just too difficult to muddle your way through your feelings when you’re still talking, texting, or see each other too often. However, after a period of time, I think it’s completely normal to be friends with an ex. That person was, at one time, your best friend. They know so much about you and you about them. Unless the relationship ended on really bad terms and you have a very definite reason to never speak to that person again, I really don’t see the harm in staying friends. One thing that must be clear in the friendship though, is that there are no romantic feelings left. Hence the clean break and time apart. I can say that I couldn’t be friends with my ex (from above) until 5 years after we ended things. It took me a long time to get to a place where I could talk to him without feelings, then an even longer time to even want to talk to him. Now, when I do, I don’t feel anything but a friendly comradery. I see him as an old friend, just as I would anyone else. I must add though, that if at any time my current boyfriend was uncomfortable about this, I would immediately cut ties. It’s just not worth sacrificing a great thing for. So yes, I do stay friends with them, the ones I choose to at least, just as I would with any other friend. It’s the ones I hate that I don’t speak to, duh.
Thursday, February 7, 2013 Describe your ideal date night.
Tony and I go on quite a few date nights. They range in activities depending on the time of year. In the winter, we go out for supper and to movies a lot. And I mean a lot. One night we went and saw a movie at 8, only to drive across the city to another theatre to see another one at 11. In the summer we like to go camping, even just for a night, or the cabin, together. When it’s just us two, no tv, no cell phones, we really connect. We talk, sing together, cuddle, go for walks in the dark. I am at my happiest when I’m outside in nature, so these are the perfect nights for me.
Friday, February 8, 2013 Name the most romantic movie of all time.
There isn’t one, you can’t do that! I absolutely love Serendipity. All the classic elements – great soundtrack, fate, a beautiful storyline, and John Cusack. But there are so many close seconds: A Lot Like Love, Love Actually, The Notebook (don’t even say a word, you know that shit is beautiful and everyone cries when Allie realizes the story is about her!), some cheesy 80’s movies like Better Off Dead. It’s hard to think off the top of my head which are my favourites. I have a bit of a skewed idea of Love and how it should be. Luckily I think some of the remaining topics will allow me to touch on those. Be prepared to be confused.
Happy Love Month!