You may think by the title of this blog that I’m about to talk about the magic and joy you feel when you listen to love songs. But I’m not. Love songs are discriminative, they’re like the KKK of the music world. You know why? Because only people in love like these songs, for the rest of us, they’re a reminder of how we aren’t in love like the happy asshole singing the song is.
When you’re in love, every love song sends an image of you with the love of your life to your brain. It’s as if each lyric was specifically designed for you and your love, like they read your mind. You feel more love for your love when you hear these loving lyrics. Ahh, so beautiful. Really, love songs are a go-to for musicians. Add the word “wedding day” or “be my wife” and you are guaranteed at least one summer hit at weddings. There are entire radio channels dedicated to love songs.
When you are not in love, especially when you’re single, these lyrics make you roll your eyes. I’m pretty sure you can see my face speaking the words, “fuck off”. I quickly change any song that is about love as soon as I hear the words, “from the first moment….”. Yeah, game over.
There are some exceptions to this rule. Any rap song about love is hilarious. Not only is there usually a fantastic bass line, but the lyrics are such a wonderful balance between expressing love and talking about spraying champagne all over each other. I literally just heard the words, “who got the baddest pussy on the planet“. Who can hate on a song like that?
Okay, so this may be an irritated rant from a “single in her twenties” woman who is feeling more bitter than usual. However, I think there’s a serious lack of music about being single and adventurous and confident. Where the hell are those songs? I have music playing 90% of the time I’m awake. All day at work, always in the car and usually in the evening as background noise. My emotion or mood can drastically be altered by music. I even make a conscious effort to suit my music to my mood if I know I need to cry, cheer up, or make it through a long night drive. I have dedicated an entire album to a sad period of my life knowing that if I ever hear it, I am reminded of that time, but it’s the only album I ruined by associating it with negative feelings. But there needs to be a happy medium here. There are songs for break-ups, songs for love-making, songs for relationships, songs about partying, songs about screwing the government, but I want some intense lyrics about being independent without the cheesy pop beat. No Taylor Swift, 22 bullshit. I’m far from 22, I need something deeper.
To turn this around a bit, I have to say, it really is fascinating to be older and single. The perspective you gain on yourself and others is something I have never felt before. The longer I go, the more I realize about myself. There are some low times, and when I say low, I mean sitting in the tub with no bubbles or candles because you simply can’t bring yourself to put in that much effort, and ugly crying until you hyperventilate. You may think I’m exaggerating, but if you’re a single woman in your late 20’s, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s okay, you’re not alone. When you’re young and single, you party your life away and drown your tears in buckets of vodka specials until you can’t see straight. But when you’re older, people judge you when you do that. So you start re-evaluating your values and beliefs, you get to know yourself all over again. You quickly realize you aren’t who you were in the relationship and even before the relationship. You find a new part of yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, I want love again, absolutely. But there’s something exciting, unexpected, and curious about being single when everyone else seems to be getting married and having babies. Like you have Pandora’s box and the possibilities that lie inside are endless. As much as I know I definitely want marriage and babies one day, and am so happy for all of my lovelies that are experiencing this beautiful part of life, I am content with the unknown for now. As long as I don’t hear any love songs along my journey.